Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Things I know now!

As some of you have probably noticed, I am very bitter about some things that happened at my old church and have recently begun processing a lot of it through my blog. I guess I am still angry about most of it. But I do believe that I went through this for a reason. Otherwise, me and my family would not be where we are at today in a healthy church. This may be confusing as I jot down some thoughts going through my head right now but just bear with me.

I am sober today through the supernatural healing of Jesus Christ who took any and all desire to use mood altering substances away from me on the spot. There is no other way to describe what happened. We used to go to Fazoli's after church on Sunday nights and I remember a conversation I had with a certain person that night. Let me first explain a few things. After my last binge over 5 years ago I was in a detox unit and the following day I had a choice to make. My insurance was not going to pay anymore for me to be there. The Pastor had been in contact with Teen Challenge and I was accepted to go into the program. However, I would have lost my job and all benefits because it is a yearlong program. Someone from my old church told me that I could not stay sober unless I went to Teen Challenge. Well I am happy to say I am clean and sober to this day. Why would someone say that to a person?

I recall having a conversation with someone after church one Sunday night. I had made the comment that we had to get home because it was getting late and Shannon had school in the morning. This person then stated that when they were young they just didn't go to school on Monday's because church was more important than school.

My wife and I were dragged through the mud a few times in the Pastor's office. I don't really know what was going on here because all of the accusations were totally false and I think it had to do with someone's "agenda". Why we didn't leave then I do not know.

Some things I observed...
Legalism, Dictatorship, Agendas, Church before family. All unhealthy in my opinion.

I have been to some gatherings with folks from this church since then. I made a point to go up to a certain person and greet him on a couple of occassions at these gatherings. the last time was Christmastime at their live nativity scene. I made eye contact with him and he saw me. But I got that "look". The look I know all too well by now. He did not greet me or smile. He just avoided me. I guess I am "bad" because I left this church.

If you are shunned because you left a church and you have done nothing morally or biblically wrong, then this is morally wrong on their part. I don't know if it is a pride thing or a power trip. But it is wrong.

I have had some people apologize to me personally. These are true friends that still go to this church that saw some things after we left. Thank you. You know who you are.

I know what a healthy church is now. I go to one. I have grown more spiritually this past year than I ever have in my entire life. I am sure there are some folks in my church that are judgemental and legalistic. But I do not see that in the leadership of this church at all. I see love, compassion, and true caring.

Thank you Lord for bringing me to the point I am at now in my life. Surrounding me with people that are trying to show others what Kingdom living is all about. It is not about control, judging others, legalism, or show. It is about loving others as You love us. Putting others first.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Patty said...

Amen

10:02 AM  

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