Although I applaud their desire to create an environment where people feel free to be honest, I fault their methods. Their "rules" could only provide a substitute for the intimacy borne of real relationship. In the long run, they were only providing an illusion of intimacy rather than intimacy itself. One thing I have learned over the years is that anyone who is prone to gossip about you is also willing to lie about it. There is no substitute for real relationships that grow over time. Relationships are an organic reality, and it will not take you long to figure out which people around you are safe to open up to and which are best given a wide berth. Even among those who claim to be a part of the church, you will find many who are persistently critical, self-centered, and destructive. They gossip, twist your words, and spare no effort to force their opinions on you. While we can still love those who are held captive by such deeds, we do not have to give them access to the depths of our hearts.

pg 126 authentic relationships - discover the lost art of "one anothering"