Sober is better

It's almost that time. A week from tonight I celebrate 7 years of sobriety. On Sept 28th, 2000 I was not in very good shape. I was in an emergency room at Desert Banner Hospital in Mesa, or maybe it was St. Lukes in Tempe. To tell you the truth, I don't really remember, nor does it really matter. I've been to many around here, and also to some in St. Louis and Nebraska. Detox is not pretty. I do remember the morning leading up to the hospital though. I had been binging on Vodka. I was up to a fifth a day. It was all I could do to function at that time. When you go on a major binge, your body depends on the alcohol to function and you are really physically dependent on it. If you don't have that drink, you get the shakes and I even would vomit unless I got some booze in me right away. I remember calling my Dad in Tucson that morning and telling him I needed help. Tucson is only about an hour and a half from where I live. He said to leave the door unlocked knowing that I would probably be unconcious when he arrived. He was right. I drank an entire fifth of 100 proof vodka and passed out. I don't remember anything really until I woke up in the emergency room. I was told I did some pretty crazy shit, which I won't go into here.

I had so much alcohol in my system, the detox unit wouldn't even take me. So I was given an IV and waited for my B.A.C to go down. It was in the 0.35 range. I was then led to the detox unit and given a bed. When I woke up in the morning I was violently ill with the tremors. All I wanted was a fricking drink man! I walked up to the nurses station to get something to calm me down so I would not have seizures, another thing that happens when you are withdrrawing from drugs and alcohol. They gave me a little dixie cup with water in it. The pill was in my mouth. There was a problem though. My hands were shaking so bad I couldn't keep the water in the cup. So the nurse had to give me the water with her holding the cup.

A little while later I was told that my insurance was not going to pay for my detox. I had used up all the insurance for substance abuse benefits. I was told I could stay, but would have to pay like $600 a day out of my pocket. I told them I was leaving then and signed out against medical advice.

When I got back home I cried out to God to help me. I went through detox myself, and let me tell you, it was hell. The room smelled like hell, I was constantly sweating and then freezing and then sweating again. I would hallucinate. After about three days the withdraw process was done but I was in bad shape healthwise. I went to the doctor to get an excuse for work since I was "out sick". There was a good chance that I was either going to lose my job or be suspended without pay for a month. The doctor did a bunch of tests on me. My blood pressure was high and my liver was in very bad shape.

To be continued......

Be MoVeD!