Monday, August 29, 2005

My Broken Filter and Why I Started Running

I mentioned in an earlier post that I would tell you about my "broken filter". I've mentioned this to some, but not everyone really knows my story, so here it goes.

My broken filter has to do with drugs and alcohol. The drugs were illegal, but the alcohol was not. I guess my problem with alcohol started when I was around 14 or 15. I don't really recall the exact time. I do remember the first time getting so drunk that I passed out and that was at my friends lake lot when I was about 14. I was so sick that whole night and next day. I experimented with most any drug you can imagine with the exception of needle dope. I never stuck a needle in my skin, but if you could drink it, smoke it, swallow it or snort it, I tried it.

The illegal drugs I just sort of gave up on my own. I think the last time I smoked a joint was in Omaha Nebraska right before my daughter Shannon was born. The heavy drinking started when I was about 18. I drank pretty heavily on a daily basis until Sept of 2000. There were some rehab stints where I abstained but it was pretty much 20 years of heavy boozing. I'm amazed at what the Lord has done for me in that my liver is not damaged or diseased the way it should be. I put it through hell.

I am NOT condemning the use of alcohol here. I came up in some churches that preached you were a sinner if you even had a beer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a drink as long as you are responsible and it doesn't control you. Your alcohol filter is not broken if you can drink responsibly. The Bible does have something to say about drunkeness, but it does NOT say that you cannot enjoy a beer or two, or whatever your alcoholic beverage of choice is.

I guess I could write a book about this but I'll try to be brief. After several attempts to stay sober through rehab programs, AA, just drinking beer instead of the hard stuff, it all failed me. My life was in shambles. I almost lost my family, my friends, my job, and I very likely could have lost my life several times. The one thing I never really tried was giving it all up to the Lord. I spoke yesterday of brokeness. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I had nowhere else to turn. The Lord took me, and molded me into what I am today. He is the Potter, I am the clay. Anyhow, I have walked with HIM ever since that day. It was Sept 28th of the year 2000. This September 28th I will have not had a drop of alcohol for 5 years. Praise God for His saving grace. My wife stayed with me through what was a living hell. My parents prayed for me and I know others were too.

It was during those first few weeks of sobriety, where I was praying to God continually to save my marriage, save my job, save my life, that I stumbled across an add in the newspaper advertising the inagural Lost Dutchman Marathon. I will continue this story in my next post. For now, everyone that is training for the PF Changs run, keep GITTIN R' DUN folks.


Blogger friend said...

Thanks for sharing your story - have you been to constantly abiding's site yet. Her story is pretty cool too.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Keith said...

Absolutely. Awesome story she has. I can totally relate to what she's going through. Been there and done that my friend. Thank you Jesus for saving me and making me whole again.

11:45 PM  

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